This thing. Called a Werepup. A silicone baby. And it looks alive. It’s a Werebaby. And I want one.

Here, this is what I mean:

You can have them custom made and sent to you for seventy bucks.

More info is at the website:

www.werepups.com

• Once a lunar month, your body starts doing things that even you don’t fully understand.
• You and your pack end up on the same schedule, one way or another. There’s this whole kinetic telepathy going on between you.

o   Which would be really cool if the transformation itself didn’t hurt like a bitch and inconvenience you.

• Only you and those like you are capable of creating more of your kind.
•  Your body gets super-hardcore, like, you can bleed for an entire week and survive, you get a really high pain tolerance, and sometimes medications don’t even have an effect on you.
• You get so. Very. Hungry.
• Certain substances make you crazy in unexpected ways.
•  There’s a lot of inaccurate information about it on the Internet and in the media, which is occasionally funny, but mostly irritating.
•  If you find yourself writhing on the floor and howling, that’s pretty much par for the course.
• People may mock or disparage you because of it. They also might chalk your decisions up to it, even when it’s entirely irrelevant. This makes you want to rip their heads off with your teeth no matter what time of the month it is.

o   They are also likely to expect you to keep it a secret for their own peace of mind.

o   Otherwise they’re probably going to call you a bitch.

•  You feel a kinship with those who have undergone the same traumatic changes.
• There’s a strong physiological desire to have sex, but you feel like a fucking monster.
•  Your emotions start manifesting externally. Scratching and biting may seem like perfectly understandable activities during this time.
• People might try to imply that you’re somehow inferior because of it, but that’s bullshit and we all know it.